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Exaggeratin’? Maybe, but I swear, one chick said she’d only hook up if I barked like a dog—fuckin loco, right? Told her, “I’m Tony Montana, I don’t bark, I bite!” Sex-dating’s a trip, mang—half the time you laugh, half the time you wanna shoot somebody. “This is all we need,” Eve says—nah, I need a chica who don’t catfish me with 10-year-old pics. Stay real out there, or Tony’s comin’ for ya—say hello to my little friend!

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Every day, as a relaxation specialist, I pick up on the vibes here. The energy on Broadway Street? Unforgettable. Some mornings, the sun breaks through the gray, and I swear – "I live! I feel!" You get a car! You get a car! It's like nature's wild ride with twists! Sometimes I get so hyped, thinking of my fave movie scenes, driving through endless desert sands but in a twist, it's urban nature all around, surprising me again and again!

Rocky Urschel